~ A sanctuary of peace ~

2011-11-23T04:21:00.003+08:00

Can I pick and choose the career path? It's so nullified that no one in our team really cares.

Year 2013

2011-11-18T12:33:00.002+08:00

In two year's time,

I'm gonna make things happen. Things that were impossible can now be a reality. Things that people would laugh at, things that didn't have a hope. I tell you this day is coming.

Obedience vs disobedience

2011-05-28T23:00:00.002+08:00

Many a times I'd wanted to give up. On the whole it was a lesson procastinating that things in life are just a journey. Perhaps letting go of certain things did validate some of its fruits. On the issue of trust, I think it is necessary for me to kneel down on my knees and pray.

Seeking God for His guidance and strength. To this day, whatever happenned in office is a wake up call for me to yield to the spirit and walk by it. In Hebrews 5:8 & 9, it says that 'though he were a Son, yet learned he obedience by the things which he suffered, and being made perfect he became the author of eternal salvation unto all them that obey Him. If we look further down through the passage of this chapter, it is talking about milk and strong meat.

Yes, I'm like a babe, which at this point in time should be teaching others. Oh Father in heaven, please help me to strengthen my spiritual muscles and that potential meat may be served in Your presence O God. I thank you and praise you in Christ most precious name, amen.

Looking at the foot of the cross. For He is my salvation, in Him will I seek His face day to day, the author and finisher. The first and the last, the almighty God. In Him will I trust.

Relationship seminar @ Nexus, Cuppage

2011-02-18T00:02:00.002+08:00

Today's event reminded me of how CHC members inspired me to love God more and be in the Spirit. How first got healed of relationship heartaches and how I grow in the Lord with w138 group. I'm back to where I was 4 years ago but stronger. It was tough, but lessons learnt made me recuperate better.

Learnt that some of the ways which I felt, was of the world!!! Hey, why didnt anyone teach this to me earlier....? This should be taught during the youth days!!! Learnt where are the danger zones of a rela too. Ie, red, amber and green zones which have nv been taught to me before. Thank God for that. Throughout this journey, I have come to respect other religions, not be judgemental, and debating but put an open mind, listen, think and observe. But foundational principle must be strong in order not to jeopardise your faith. I admit that I ever confess that Im willing to give up on my religion. That was the most foolish statement I ever made. But its over now. The storms had subsided. Thank God.

New opportunities this year. Am looking forward to the next happy happenings. =l

Flying chair

2011-02-15T21:03:00.002+08:00

Flying chair can be seen at home. I've had enough of all your negative comments. Stop murmuring and complaining. The moment I flung the chair, my limit is up. You have affected me and Im trying to have a well balanced life.

If u want to go IMH, just go. Nobody is stopping you. Just stop disturbing the family. Irritating.

No title

2011-01-31T23:47:00.003+08:00

It only makes me upset when I look at her blog. Why should i even look at it in the first place? Decided to completely not look at it, thus the delete of my 2nd facebook account created just to look at her life.

This year is a brand new start for me. Tmr going for a general health checkup for my company. Reminded me of incidents where I accompanied someone to test for HIV screening and in the end I myself had to take it as well. Felt so foolish as to why I was so wild last year. Fancy accepting a girl when I just broke up wid an ex. Stress at work and nv had self control. Well, I could say now dat Im able to control my desires. This was an expensive lesson dat I learnt.

I'm down with flu and cough but I wont feel the need to wish for someone to say care for my well being already. Maybe Im more independent now and less reliant on others? Have come to a conclusion dat personal space is needed and dat u need to have ur own friends even though u're in a relationship. To the girl dat i once loved. Hope dat u're doing well with ur classmates. I'm moving on. Take care.

Trusting in Him

2011-01-23T00:49:00.002+08:00

I'm putting my trust in God once again. Believing for a breakthrough this year. When I almost lost faith, my dad played this song on a cd and it really touched my heart. 'You are my all in all'. I remembered having my first depression during my O levels.

This was the song that made me cry real hard and cry out to Jesus for a miracle. That was in 2001. Now, 10 years on. Though I have grown more mature Im still crying out to Him for a breakthrough, though not as deep and helpless as I was. That's because I have the support of my brothers and sisters in Christ, family to encourage me. I dont feel that alone anymore. Year 2011 will be a point where I put my entire focus on re-building up my career where I had left off being distracted by matters of the heart. So resolution would be to focus on my career and nothing else. Not forgetting church of course. Thank you Lans and Ben for not giving up on me.

I can feel the love of God pouring down on me again. As such, I have made a point not to sin again. Praying for a breakthrough in my career. God bless.

I've found joy

2010-12-27T20:26:00.003+08:00

In the midst of wanting to be loved again, I've found joy. The last few months had been real fake to me. Thoughts of wanting to give up, thoughts of the past flashing back, etc.

Yet, it was this inner struggle that I had to go through. I was real half hearted. The previous post was real lashing out at God. I felt so ashamed of my wrongdoings dat I had to give up my mega church and move to a medium sized church. The 'me' was really no interest at all for Christ. Just go service for the sake of going. But it's different now. I guess with a good environment to work in, a good working relationship with colleagues slowly pulled me back. Indeed finance is important. Recently got to read the book dat Life Group bought for my b'day. The chapter on dealing with your past really helps.

It talks about how Paul killed many Christians at that time and at a turn of an event, God talked to Paul with a voice. That changed and he believed in Christ, sharing and proclaiming that Jesus is the son of God. Then people criticised him for killing Christians. He felt remorseful too, but that did not stop him from preaching the Word. I finally had the faith to stand back up. Thank you Lord.

Friday night

2010-12-18T04:19:00.003+08:00

What a friday. After work went back home, changed and waited for PL to do her manicure then go for dinner. 9+ plus then eat. Zzzz. Good thing stay nearby. Had beef noodle at vivo foodcourt. Then shopped awhile for christmas present but found none suitable.

Was quite enthu during work. Haha, dats wad i like best. Finishing it has a thrill to it. But once im at home after 2 or 3 hrs the moody mood slipped in. Very hate this feeling. Yes I do realise that we need love. Loneliness do seep in. When im having lunch, I'm alone. Seeing workers having their meals with colleagues together really 'pinch' me. Darn, y cant i have that kind of colleagues? Unless u're a high flyer with a gd certificate, or else forget about it. I do miss her sometimes. The happy times dat she brought really made me happy. we know each other at the wrong time. Im not as optimistic as i used to be. Only goal now is to stablise my job.

2nd last ex i just a normal friend now. Though we do sms each other sometimes, but the feel is not the same as before. She is quieter than me and there's really nothing much to talk about. She's not a good chatter though. Oh well. Just a few smses asking how r u, taken ur dinner etc. As usual. Hello, there's more to talk than this. I don wana repeat the same old rela again.

A rela shld be with interesting things to talk abt within our everyday lives. Anw, sometimes i really hate my christian life. Wats the norm? To obey, bla bla bla...? Yes, so wad if i was very enthusiastic and on fire for God? I do admit that He has always been there for me. But i just hate that invisible form of His. So please send someone to talk to me!!!!! Im fed up!!!! Where is the God that I once knew?? Y must i suffer so much and yet other pple have better life than me???? Is it fair....???? Self control, finances, where are u....????

3rd In-Camp-Training

2010-12-13T20:58:00.001+08:00

One week of Reservist had gone and its fast. Remembering the time when I was just a young chap serving my National Service for the country. In a round of a clock, it's been 4 years since I ORD-ed. Bedok camp has the most fond memories outside of home.

Refreshing back the days when I wore my green uniform marching left and right, holding on to my rifle and training with my buddies. Going through thick and thin with them was the most heart-felt thing I ever experienced. With the comfort of the bunk, big and spacious. Now fast forward to 2010, we've matured and came a long way. With the change of our Commanding Officer (CO), life is much easier. Unlike our crazy and 'siao-on' CO.

1st day of In-pro (In-Processing), reached Jurong Camp 2 at 7.15. Hair check by RSM (Regimental Sergeant Major). Thankfully this time my hair was short enough. Haha. Need not cut. Next, went up to the fifth storey bunk, darn tiring climbing up that flight of stairs with heavy field pack and stuffs. Got to see my group of buddies and there they went again joking and suan-ing me about those funny things we did at bedok camp. It made me laugh.

The highlight of this year's training was the Range; Shooting. We were expected to score Marksman for every group of 6. Indeed we scored well. HQ got the best combat shoot award. Yea! But if it's for individually, I wouldnt have scored marksman. My score was; Day shoot - 13 out of 15 shots on target, which is considered marksman. Night shoot 9 out of 15. Just pass only. Argh, missed it. Nvm, at least my group scored well, its a team effort. =) Man it really lasted one whole day finishing at 11pm. Not forgetting bullet check and declaring dat we do not have any left over rounds or bullets in our possession. Gosh.

Final day morning was fun. Had our Battalion jog and games. Tug of war! Woosh. Haha. HQ and Charlie company were even out. CO helped Charlie company, not fair. Lol. It really made my week as I was quite down with myself the past weeks. Self-confidence had gone up and I'm back to my cheerful self again. Yea! 745 Guards, always ready! =)

Throwing out my feelings

2010-12-01T09:36:00.003+08:00

Man I cant help but pour out my feelings of the day. Recently just got to know this petite girl online, the same age as my ex. She wears a spec similar to my ex. An accountant by profession and quite a petite girl.

Been thinking of this girl ever since and she likes comedies. Interesting, but quite quiet most of the time when I chat with her online. She's a free thinker though. Have to think of topics to strike a conversation with or else it would be quite quiet.

Nevertheless, I would'nt neglect on my spiritual growth and church things. Lans & Ben had been a great help in the last month. Lans have high hopes on me and I wouldnt want to let him down. Will try to grow in the spiritual aspect in the LG and learn as much as I can. Been trying to read up on a book on growing strong in the Lord and also reading the bible twice a day, again. Thank God for a good salart increment and more to come.

Though I should be focusing on my job and spiritual growth, somehow there's this urge to want to feel accepted by an individual of the opposite gender. But I know my limits this time. Knowing where is the boundaries and danger zones. Friendships and relationships need to have a clear understanding. This I have learnt. Alright now. Back to work. =)

Thank You for the cross Lord!

2010-11-24T23:59:00.002+08:00

Wow, God never fails to bless me with abundancy again. I had been receiving an increment in salary far better than I expected. Even when I had no faith, He is still there with me. For those close brothers and sisters around me, thank you for your encouragements and care.

This whole month had been tough but fulfilling. There were times when I was so frustrated that I abandoned the Almighty and just did what I wanted to do. Switched off listening to Praise & Worship songs, didnt want to attend church or life group, stopped praying and things like that. Soon, I began to feel completely dry.... Meeting with one of my brother was cancelled twice, which I didnt turned up. What happenned to me? I was wondering, am I such a useless guy? Doubts and past memories kept flashing through my mind. I had to shake it off by diverting my attention to something else. Enough rest I told myself. Time to buck up on my feet again! Then I remembered my previous cell leader's advice; 'You've got to keep on keeping on'!!! I thought God had abandoned me but He did not. He sent angels in the form of brothers in Christ to comfort, guide and encourage me. Met up with 2 of my brothers and had a Japanese meal @ Dhoby Ghaut after work today.

Soon, the good news came. Increment! Yes! Thank God for that. With the supplement added, I can better plan my next budgets. From the rising of the sun, to the going down. The Lord's name is to be praised!

Youth Executive Committee meeting

2010-10-09T10:55:00.004+08:00

Wow, to my surprise. The Youth Executive Committee meeting that I had been waiting for had come. 17th October 2010. Been wondering how come the committee never call me up or send a letter to update me on their events or any news about it.

The last time I enquired, it was 2 months ago and they said that they were busy with National Day preparations. Now finally it's time to get to more people from my estate. I like to meet new friends. But I would avoid certain people when it comes to negative character mind-sets. Perhaps the last relationship taught me not to rush into things and choose your partner wisely before committing to it.

Well, last night went out with my ex classmate from our school days. We went to have a meal at Orchard. Had dinner at Wendy's restaurant. Nice. Following week was service and YEC meeting to know more about the different activities like archery and taekwando etc. 2 hrs of agenda meeting. Took a nap then went to Hill park for a jog then went to have dinner. A good weekend well spent. =P

Museum Day

2010-09-05T01:27:00.002+08:00

Wow, nice musuem trip I had just now. The artefacts of Javanese archtectures are just amazing. Learnt how the people in Indonesia lived in the olden days. Much anticipated 'history' trip since im a history student back in my school days.

Took alot of photos and had a 15minute movie session out in the open field at the Asian Civilization Musuem. Next week got Primary School gathering plus ITE class gathering. Omgosh, clash. Plus next month got a secondary sch friend's wedding dinner to attend. Zzzz... Why are u friends marrying so early...? Im feeling the pressure now. But am not gona rush into things man. A good life partner is worth the wait, till I choose the right one. Relatives will come and 'haunt' me again and I think I had prepared a very good answer for them. Wait long long. Lol.

I had declared to my zone pastor and cg leader that Im leaving chc. Though it was a sad parting of ways, but I felt dat in order for me to fulfil God's purpose in my life, I need to move on. To learn more in depth of the bible. Old and New Testament surveys are the ones dat I shld pick up to enhance my knowledge of the bible since im suppose to attend these course back in my baptist church but I din. Hope church has the platform and resources essential for my spiritual growth to be strong in the Word. I left one good advice for the rest of the cg which is to fear God. CHC dosent teach this. It was when my previous mentor reminded me of it and during one of the youth services i attended in Hope which reminded me to fear Him and to abstain from temptations. I need to remain pure and Holy in order to fulfil my calling of being a musician.

Recently when I was packing some stuffs at home, I chanced upon a book which my aunt gave me years back. In the note it wrote; 'Isaac, you're talented in music and you have a calling to be in the music ministry. It is a high calling from God. Use this talent to serve Him'. Immediately, tears drop as i was listening to praise and worship songs while packing my clothes. I just cant render the high responsibility that's suppose to be on me. Discipline is another aspect which im still trying to instil after coming back from a setback. I just prayed to God for Him to restore to me the peace and relationship with almighty God. Peace had been restored and now I need to focus on doing my quiet time regularly and be more interested in His Word more, again.

Thoughts as of 1st Sept

2010-09-01T21:45:00.002+08:00

Had quite a normal weekend as usual with services. Sat went to Henderson CC to take a look at their Taekwando session. OMGosh, all kids! How to take up? I've yet to look out for Radin Mas CC's TKD. Heard that there's adults learning.

Bukit Merah's one was worse, Monday nights with a much higher course fee. Aikido is about 90+ bucks which is way off the budget. But this is the martial art that the SAF and Police force used it. Whichever it is, my stand is that I take up TKD is for self-defence, i repeat. Not to fight. Why would my family discourage me from taking up? Yes I know they are concerned for my safety, but all the more I should take it up again since im so small built. I've almost forgotten my stance since P6. It took me 2 years to learn until green belt, now i had to start all over again. You think is fun?? Hello... Only mum and grandma has no objections. My mind is made up. I don believe in the theory that the family will be affected spiritually just because i learn the art. Too superstitious. Get away!

Back to church topic. I just realised dat my secondary school classmate is in the same church as my another friend. God's plan. Surprisingly he's in the music ministry which is where im suppose to be heading. Sometimes i just felt abit restricted as in things which i want to do but i cant, like take up jobs which im interested in which requires to work on weekends, but God has his plans for me. I just need to trust Him. Sometimes thoughts will come into my mind like losing faith?

Go church, got friends for accompaniment at least not so bore... Duh, what am i thinking? Go for service is to worship God!!! Isaac, wake up. Ok at least i know there are still friends there who are there to support and encourage. Good to go. Planning to paint my house and upgrade my hi-fi system, get a new pair of shoe and clothes. Get blinds for my window. Lol. =P
Prev: Composite

Composites

2010-08-28T23:23:00.002+08:00

Wow, managed to compose a worship song this week. Took me about 2 days to finish the lyrics and melodies. One of my friend suggested dat I post it on Youtube to let people comment. Lol.

It was when I was down and out dat I wrote this song, reminding me of God's love towards me even when things dosent turn out the way dat u would want. Gotten the 1.4k job dat i went for the interview for. Near my house too! Technical post, 5 and a half days week. Yipee. I was already prepared to go for the 1.3k job at Farrer Park when I got the good news this morning. Yes, thank You Lord. You saved the day. At least now i can proudly say that I had done better than I was previously.

Saw her fb, she had finally realised dat jealousy and hatred only makes things difficult. It makes her uglier, dats wad she said. Well, I thank God dat she had finally turned over a new life. A brother once told me dat when u speak into a person's life, it will really affect them somehow or rather. But be careful, if not they will fall for you especially girls. I wont want to fall into a trap again.

I'm still pondering over how do I transit from a mega church to a medium church. I chose a much smaller scale church bcos it is quite similar to my baptist program, ie, pre-marital course, old and new Testament surveys and also ministry and sports. One thing im more concerned is the cg. Going to adult service at Hope church Singapore tmr. Leaving it to God for now.

Boring life

2010-08-19T18:32:00.000+08:00

What a boring day it is today... Woke up at 12, idled for awhile using my com, then off to watch abit of youth olympics on tv. Rested for awhile then off to jogging for 1 hr, stamina still need to improve. But consistancy is there already.

Waiting for tmr's job interview at sentosa, hope i get the job as a train captain there. Pray pray pray.

Ten commandments / Dangers of relationships

2010-08-14T00:08:00.000+08:00

Just watched finished Ten Commandments just now, an old film that I dug out from my DVD lists at home. The scenes of murmurrings and not being able to trust Him enough really reflected my old self. The scene of adultery also warned me to be cautious of what I am doing in the future. This includes fornication. Lord, help me to overcome temptations.

Just blocked 2 of my friends on facebook just now. Dislike their attitudes of gossipping. 1 Tim. 6:20 says about babblings, which means foolish gossips when Timothy was taught how to handle people who are gossiping.

Next, I would like to touch on the dangers of relationships. Firstly, I would like to remind myself of not being unequally yoked with unbelievers. The word yoked includes spirituality. If you're not even in the same level of spiritual realm, dont even try to be together. Get to know the other person well enough first before committing to a rela. This is what I've learnt through the hard way, jumping and rushing into one dosent work out.

Secondly, if the person is not of the same 'frequency' as in conversational wise, then it's out. My opinion of a ideal partner. Thirdly, if you or your partner has a bad past or habit that needs to change, are u able to trust and stand by that person for a change?

Fourthly, I believe that violence in a relationship is a no-no. U need to say out the reasons why you do this and not resort to violence to solve problems. It could end up very deadly. Think about it and pray before you really commit. Whether is there peace within. Sometimes I have to be reminded of this so, dont assume that Im the perfect person that you guys portray me to be. Im afterall still a human being fallen short of God's grace and glory.

I want my future partner and marriage to work out well, I dont want to end up like my parents. Been thinking which church to home sit in lately. Hope seems like a good church to be in. With courses in place, church camp which i miss alot since i left shalom. Pre-marital course which is essential in this age group. Still have 3 more churches to attend before i decide on which one to settle down with. Fulfilling the Great Commission is a remarkable task to obey. Am i still able to attend my current church with only jurong west in place? Or am I really ready to go out and teach all nations? Am i still capable of being a good example to others after what had happenned?

Sentosa trip

2010-08-10T04:58:00.010+08:00

Surprisingly, this time's trip was awesome. Firstly, met M at 11.30am Vivocity. Then took the 'Monorail' to Palawan beach. Went up to the Southern Ridges and took some photos over there, to the top of the peak.

12.45pm, went to have lunch at Koufu. Chicken rice....... Took a tram to Tanjong beach for our beach relaxation. Lol. First time taking the tram there for the both of us. Haha. Then went to soak some sea water before heading to play soccer with some boys and guys, while M was resting under the tree. Good relaxation a? Scored a goal while playing for the team. Lol. Too hot, foot cant stand the heat. So went back to join mp. Sat for awhile, listened to music and off to dreamland for awhile. Went to pray and spent time wid Him for awhile. The waves were nice and breezy.

Went out of M's sight twice while she was resting. I have no idea what was that feeling all about. If I didnt flee, I dont know what will happen next. Either I would lie down and rest longer, but felt kind of uneasy and restless. So went to pray. Coincidently, that hp of mine just went flat while I was worshipping half way. So went back to her side. Thankfully she's up and awake by then. Ate some tidbits and read a book in between. Took out some books and barang barangs. The 3rd time round lying down was much more easier, I guess maybe it's me getting not used to being so close. Oh ya, the sun was pretty hot! No wonder we got sun burnt when we were back home.

By 3.45pm, we were good to go to our next destination. Washed up and took the Island's tram to Palawan station. Then went to play the Skyride and Luge. Worth the experience. We had 2 trys. =) It was fun! First round waited for mp to catch up with me, the 2nd round, off we go speeding individually. Hehe. The camera took our pics but we didnt buy the photos, too expensive.

Then off we went to Koufu again for dinner. Ate La mian and surprisingly we managed to catch NDP 2010 'live' on television. Lol. Stayed for about an hr and caught the Parade & Ceremony segment. By then we were feeling kind of cold due to the Air-Conditioning. So we went to the Songs of the sea! Our next destination.

It was a show worth watching. Took some pictures before the show started. The pyrotechnics and musical performances were great and lively, not forgetting the lasers and water lightings.
Soon, it was an end to the whole trip. M and I took a bus back to Harbourfront instead of the 'monorail' due to the capacity crowd. Happy National Day Singapore! Enjoyed the trip. Thanks for spending the time together on this special day. =P

Cant sleep

2010-08-08T07:47:00.003+08:00

I cant reckon the fact dat u're feeling touchy, here and there. It really left a scar, emotional scar. Imagine me facing the trauma of wrestling wid ur ex by him pulling on to my shirt?

Wished i could have punched him on his stomach on that fateful day. I just didnt. And u pushing me to the ground and got hit by a car??? Violence is not the way to settle pblems. U really need to stop all these and change. Fancy u calling me to apologise and dat u regretted it? Apologising to my grandpa for wad u did? I almost wanted to press charges against u but i didnt. It wouldnt be good for both parties. U have evidence against me for hitting u too. Im not the Isaac that would hit a person in public unless provoked. I dont know whether u arranged for the meet up of u meeting him first before meeting me on the 26th July. Purposefully exacting revenge by playing wid my feelings? Purposely agitating me by sitting close to him and seeing him hugging u and when my father approached h im in the hospital he said that he's just protecting a friend???????!!!!!!!! And u protecting ur friend's interest instead of asking how is my injury??????Bullshit!!! Instead it was M who asked about my injury!!!!! When I cut myself, it was M who bothered to care. What about you??? U dont even care, y shld i even have a gf who dosent even care????? So wad if u have test and exams? Have i not helped u wid ur studies? And when im tired u complained of me sleeping and not helping u wid ur revision.

Are u not thankful enough? Instead ur family blamed me for everything. Have ur sis not looked at ur behaviour? Why put the blame on me? Look at ur own siblings before pointing ur finger at others.

I hate liars!!! You're one of a kind with him. Disgusting. Fancy u kissing him and letting him touching u and advancing on ur sensitive parts??? Hello!! Wake up!!!!

It really disgust me. The fact dat u lied to ur family about me hitting u the first time and that u lied to me twice, I dont know how to believe and trust u ever again. I wouldnt even want to touch nor hold ur hands ever again. Nor would i even want a patch up even if u were to be back to sg. So what if u miss me and call my house over again and again? It just annoys me.

Every place i go these few days kept on reminding me of the time we went together. Garfield, mickey mouse, Marche @ Somerset, Bugis Iluma, Causeway point. I still have to face up to it. Never will I date a foreigner ever again. Not dat i discriminate against them, but just that im not so in to mixed dating. The culture is so different. Simple but yet hard to contemplate between present Singaporeans' mindset versus traditional Bruneian mindsets.

Been indulging myself wid activities these few days. Swimming, gym, outing wid friends and group sessions. Letting go is darn so difficult. Friend M says it takes time. Pls tell me when is the correct time dat i can totally let u go and start life without u. 3 months?

=l This rela i will never forget, short but painful for me to even bear the consequences. Never will i be so easy going in choosing a partner ever again. My standards of a gf is much more higher now. A christian girl on fire for God. Spiritually the same level and compatible as it seems.

Am gona guard my heart tightly and protect myself from harm from now on.

Not gona let You go

2010-08-06T00:45:00.002+08:00

Aint gona happen again. Im staying firm to Your words. Left cg with a heavy heart. She's right after all. Let this be a once and for all thing. Traditional church suits me more.

More of You, and less of me. Don Moen's classics. Went to Macd for supper and then tried to read up on a book but cant really concentrate. No flow. Tmr going to watch movie wid Bao le.

Feelings as of Aug 2010

2010-08-05T02:19:00.002+08:00

Dare not think so far away. M taking one step at a time. Y cant i just be free? I tot i can be free, but y am i worrying about other people's burdens? Am i ok?

Went to Kallang mac after prayer mtg today, cant really concentrate on reading a book though. Too noisy, but i like the ambience. Cosy for friends' meet up and have a chit chat supper. I hope this feeling is not a illusion. I dont want to mess wid person A's life. I want to be friends wid her for life. But feelings are feelings. Pray pray pray.

Tmr gona be a brand new day. Busy day wid 1 job application and a interview. Either one hope i can get in. Prayer mtg was good. Next stop, cgm tmr. Praying dat nth will happen. It just reminds me of the past incident wid 'her'. Scolding me for wad i had done wrong, it really rings a bell and it will always be a reminder for me not to make the same mistake again ever. I want this mountain out of my life! K, going to slp now. Nites bloggy.

Thoughts

2010-08-04T01:21:00.000+08:00

It's been a painful but yet fulfilling journey. To see you transformed to be a better person is my greatest wish. For better or for worse, till death do us part. I finally understood what does the marriage vow means.

Though we can't be together as a couple, I hope that you will cherish urself even more now. You said that you wont be fooled by guys and wont get cheated by them again, I hope u know wad u are saying. These few months had been a happy and yet sad at the same time. Nevertheless I will never forget the happy moments dat we had been together. For I do really cherish the time we were together and i never regret abit of my life for loving you. Perhaps it is not God's will that we can be together, like wad my dad said, can be friends but not future wife.

Wishing you all the best in everything. I thank you for the time u helped take my belongings to the hospital and for visiting me before u go to school. You're a good girl if not for ur past, mischievous and stubborn character which i believe can be improve. The moment when i let u go, i felt more freedom and relaxed. Need not worry about u so much. You're independent enough. Hope dat we had learnt something from each other.

Festival of Praise was a fresh start for me this year. Long time friends re-kindled, new found friends and of course going back to the right track. I just realised how much a friend would care ever since we graduated. It's been awhile.

From a bubbly pretty girl, to a matured and outstanding lady I had known. The times when i encouraged her to move on wid her life after breakups in her life, now its my turn who needed help and support from her. No words could ever express this kind of friendship. Let the past be the past, lets run this race together and till the finish line. May God be with us all. Amen.

The 2 plus 1

2010-08-01T16:34:00.004+08:00

Justina, me and Mabel. =)

Festival Of Praise 2010

2010-08-01T16:22:00.002+08:00

National Indoor Stadium (Above)

Walkway facing Indoor Stadium

Don Moen playing the piano (Solo piece)

The packed crowd

Planet shakers perfoming

Dont know what to title

2010-08-01T16:21:00.000+08:00

Let this be the last time I fall in love again. The storms had been weathered, the conviction tested. Let this be a expensive lesson learnt. Never to fall in love again. She's happy with her life now, am glad that she is.

Seeing her smile and be happy is my greatest wish for her. I was actually quite sad when i see her feeling sad and depressed when we quarrelled. At the very least she's happy now. I can only look back with a smile. Thanks for all the time spent together which I did cherish. It is special, a meaningful courtship i ever had. Because a life is transformed. Praise the Lord! I like to see the happy and cheerful Pei Shan. Maybe a calm and peaceful life in Brunei suits her best instead of living in Singapore. It's hactic here.

Fast forward to present Festival of Praise 2010, it was worth catching the fire. M and I had a great time attending the event together with her friend. It's the 2nd time dat she attended and the first time dat her friend ever attended. Like to attend the next one in 2011 again. Missed the moments together as a small group. =)

Fed up

2010-07-30T05:20:00.004+08:00

Why are u doing this to me? U seems quite happy without me a...? Just to piss me off? Yes i have not totally get over Qingxia. I was just trying to re-live my past. She was the most painful and unforgetable ex i had ever been with. She was the one who made me know what is true love all about.

There's a christian girl out there, but she's aint my type. I dun wana hurt her by advancing too much. We are good friends and brothers n sisters in Christ. I dont even know what im looking for. A girl who has the same traditional values as me? I think the sky will drop. I dun think i can find the one dat im looking for.

Post break up

2010-07-30T03:04:00.004+08:00

It's almost coming to one month since I broke off with her. I'm not happy even though we had broken up. Saw her friends that she added. I cried after seeing that she added that perverted guy up on facebook.

Reminded her again and again not to do it and blocked him out of her life. Now its all back to square one. I read her blog. She's suicidal, etc. Now she said she is taking a non-sexual approach. I hope she does what she says. Cos i will be worrying for her if she does not keep to her words. So i cried for nothing i guess?

Went to iluma and bras basah after work last night. Saw the hat that she wanted. Gona get one for her soon. Its the only few things dat i can do for her.

Tmr going to FOP with M. Hopefully is a pleasant one. Im still not ready to face my cg yet. Let this be a time of cooling down for me i guess. Now everyone on her facebook noes hw i look like and wads my number and the words i said to her already. No me need me to put up. Thanks to someone who speaks for justice. Nvm how other pple says, its just between us, me and the Lord. He will judge.

Hurts, pains, hatred

2010-07-27T13:56:00.003+08:00

I cant reckon dat she has a ring on her hand and a watch. She's changed so much. When im with her, she never asked me to buy things for her. Why cant u ask? Open ur mouth!!! Just dont understand.... U're really a freak. Contradicting urself.... Im hurt by what happenned y'day.

I will never ever forget that fateful day. I caught u. U think im so stupid? U've got the wrong person. Yes this is all ur fault. Dont drag other people in anymore. Be responsible for your own actions. I may have erred. So do you. Im fine with my life now. Take it as a lesson learnt. During my devotion i just released my hurts and hatred out to God. I dont nurse it. Friends, thanks for warning me. If not for your warnings, i would have lost friends that i've known for years and whom I trust. I trust them more than I trust you. Nursing my shoulder now. Hope i can still exercise my shoulders once im well. It affected my work performance too. Selwyn was right, i almost want to tell the whole of facebook dat u're a jinx and a slut, but i refrained bcos it will affect both of us and my well being too.

Take this as a lesson for both of us. This friday is Festival of Praise, Sel asked me to invite one of my friend along and sit together with my cg. Firstly, i dun want cell leader and the rest to have the wrong impression that im tackling this friend of mine. I would rather go on a smaller scale now. I just want to be alone with someone whom i can trust. Until i can get back on my feet again, then will i go in a group. Yes practice says we should go in a group, but please, i dun like rules. I have my own way of thinking. One of my brother did just dat. Went for service with his ex but nv join the group. Been thru the group settings. Yes it is fun. But what is after dat? I dont know. Im still in a confused state right now regarding friendships.

It's over.

2010-07-26T22:18:00.002+08:00

Finally, i have decided to leave her. I have never seen a girl so vain after we broke off. She's even worse than before. Perhaps it is the change. She no longer have the 'poor me' and self pityness on her anymore.

For the next few months im going to concentrate on my work and also I'm thankful for M who is always there for me whenever im in trouble. You're the friend dat i can trust now.

Take care my dear. Even though u had fooled me, I dont blame u. I just blame myself for everything dat had happenned. No turning back anymore. Moving on.

The Aftermath

2010-07-24T07:57:00.004+08:00

Througout this period of time, I had learnt more than one lesson.

Firstly is to obey the voice of God. The prompting of the Holy Spirit. I shouldn't have go on with the idea of the hotel after revising with her the other day at Marina Square, KFC.
Another time when I was at her school, I disobeyed the Spirit's prompting inside me again.

Why? Because I want to test the Spirit out. Secondly, thriftyness. I'd learnt to be more thriftier now than before. She taught me that. Thirdly, it was through the last incident that I got to control my addictions finally!!!! I had been struggling with this for years. Finally God heard my cry and a breakthrough is coming.

Pray that she can overcome her loneliness and not be too bothered about the world. For it is emptiness. I do not want to sin again, it is too much a price to pay. I missed the chance to have a good gf. Now I dont know who will come into my life or whether will she change to be a better person and come back to me again. Just praying that miracles will happen in afew months time.

God bless.

Feelings

2010-07-10T01:39:00.003+08:00

K broked up, JS got hurt by what the ex said, I broke off with the one i loved. What is next? God, I don't want to see any of my friends breaking up or get hurt again because of relationships. Where was the love that you all had for your loved ones?

Fact is, have u guys really treasured them? As in your loved ones. Egoistic kills, tempers flare up, different values and opinions. Have you guys forgotten your first love when u were madly falling in love with each other?

For me it was a bad start, but I hope that it would end up well. I wont dismiss the fact that she's free to contact any one of her male friends or ex bfs, but deep down, I would wished that she could contact me personally. I dont know what would dat guy psycho her to do. I'm just very afraid of losing her.

Thoughts

2010-06-17T05:20:00.003+08:00

PS I love you. Seems like I seldom blog about my feelings nowadays. Perhaps the past had gone, new lifes have come into my life. Today's outing with Eliz proofed one thing. Dear's family had accepted me, especially her sister.

Freedom

2010-06-16T03:51:00.003+08:00

Can we really be free...? Free of all troubles, free of oppressions, free of everything! I want my dear dear to be free.

Good day

2010-06-15T05:15:00.002+08:00

Later going to work lo. It's 5.16am in the morning at the moment. It's been a pleasant journey. Thank God for providence and journey mercy. Let us work together to create a atmosphere of faith and be strong in the Lord.

With God, all things are possible.

Easter Day

2010-04-03T19:47:00.000+08:00

Easter service was a great success. Yesterday served at Expo Service for the first time, ambience and atmosphere was exciting. So were the Ushers busy and handling the ground work. I was busy going from BA2 (Bravo Arena 2) to busying with Internal traffic.

Till the Service is over, we had to do the cover up of the Echo seat area with black cloth as it wont be in use for the next 7.30pm Service. Just heard from my friend that Delta area wasn't even full. After that went for dinner at Bedok with my friends and then off to watching a movie at Tiong Bahru. Title of the movie: Clash of the Titans

Nice show, story line was well-written and with lots of actions. Went home about 11.30pm and off to bed at around almost 1am.

Conference day in school

2010-03-11T08:07:00.001+08:00

I fear. The worst has yet to come. Dear....... Miss talking to you.......

A 2nd chance

2010-02-24T18:14:00.002+08:00

Today was a busy day. I wished that I have more time to spare. More time to spend with baby. Her hopes on me were so yielding, that if I were to disappoint her it would be sad for the both of us. Began to realised that circumstances may change, but my love for God and baby will never change.

Times to remember

2010-02-08T19:08:00.002+08:00

Wow, so many things happenned recently. It was as if I was dreaming. Firstly, there was family pblems. Then 2ndly, girl girl literally saved me from doing some things that I shouldnt be doing. I hope that we can continue to be as good as presently or even better.

Thank God for faithful friends who did not give up on me especially my leaders. My cousin and family for letting me stay over at b.p. during these 2 yrs. I hope that with the new challenges ahead from this year onwards, I will strive to give a better life to girl girl and also to carve out a career, my driving and also maybe a family in the near future. Will not lose hope in times of trials, we will pull through. God has given me renewed strength practically because of girl girl that I was able to pull myself up once again when certain things in life didnt worked out well. Just hope that she wont disappoint me. Will always support her.

The science centre trip was a good start, it felt like a family outing going out with girl, Ken, Jessie and her mum. Thanks all who made a difference in my life. =P

Happennings

2010-01-17T21:15:00.002+08:00

I just realised that I'm short of time. Seems like there are more things to do nowadays. Be it in terms of work, family, relationship and business. Lord, enlarge my heart to have a greater capacity to meet these challenges. I need strength from you to overcome all these obstacles in life.

Bless me with the way to come and protect me for You are my refuge and strength. Amen.

Bloggy

2010-01-05T22:35:00.002+08:00

Praise the Lord! Prayer has been answered again. This morning had a great encounter with God.
He told me to write these down so I can remember. Firstly, my 2010 goal is to reach out to five souls. Secondly, the cell group will and will multiply x2, x4, x10!!!

Wow, what a revelation. Indeed God is faithful and just to forgive, for those who are weak and lowly at heart. I reckon that this is the year that we will have the greater breakthrough in our lifes. Forgive those who are not as forgiving and those who are not that forgiving. Lord I pray that You'll strengthen those who are weak and are heavy in heart. For Yours is the Kingdom. Amen.

A bright and morning star

2010-01-04T23:43:00.001+08:00

I hope and pray that things will turn out well for me and for her...
Going for a better cg. Good bye w272

For the glory of God almighty

2010-01-01T23:44:00.002+08:00

Wow, finally. Poured out almost everything to Pastor just now. The Lord indeed has heard my cry.
Indeed, justice had been done. For me to live in such agony and pain, the sufferings of Job, Paul and Jesus. Nothing can be compared to the depths of Jesus.

As I walk this path of faith, Lord, help me to even look at things in a different light. I need to know what does it mean to really love people and to have their total trust in you. I surrender. This 2010, may it be the starting of a new year with love, joy peace and less sufferings. In all this I pray in Jesus name, Amen.

A day of sorrow for my colleague

2009-12-22T22:06:00.002+08:00

It really took me aback when one of my colleague cum ex-classmate started getting bit upset because of a girl opposite our office. Seems like he is secretly admiring her. But when he heard the news that I saw her with a guy in a car, that dream of his seemed to be dashed and crushed.

I cant really fully understand how he felt, but I know that its upsetting. Like going through a breakup, just that the situation is not as serious and it has not even started yet. Just a puppy love and a one-sided thingy. Well, when a person is in love he/she will do things that is out of the norm. But when things dosent turn out the way that he/she wants, will u get upset or will u be happy for that person? A point to ponder about for people who dosent see the way the Harvester sees it.

A higher level

2009-12-06T21:37:00.002+08:00

It has been a good and satisfying journey this week. The week started with busyness at work, then came friendship pblems and family pblems. It ended with joy when you know that your younger brother finally called you kor which I have desired since our seperation.

God is real, I have experienced it. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge. Ushering was exciting today as the team members rendered help when I was taking care of A3 @ JW this morning. Preparations after preparations making sure that nothing goes wrong. Made afew mistakes though. I hope & pray that things will turn out well in all area of my life. Not gona live by what I see & feel. Thanks friends, those who know abt the pblems I shared with. God be with you all. =)

Blessed

2009-11-08T09:36:00.003+08:00

Finally can blog afew paragraphs here, but a short one. Firstly, Thank God for the blessings that had been coming since the day I started to fully put my faith in Him. From the valleys of joblessness, though I was not in the retrenched category I was still competing with people who were retrenched. To being rejected afew times by employers who did not want to hire. I thank God that prayers have been answered for job stability, prayer life has been good & also the many friends that's been invited to church & C.G.

Well, I still thank them for the closed doors. Then did I realised that though doors may be closed, but He has opened new doors for me. I got to work in a small dept. in HP for a stint. Realised that as we pray and seek God first in our lifes and ask Him for the things that we need, God will provide. Matt. 6:33 Thank God also for protection over my life and also those who needs it. Also for Christ centred friends that I got to know of. It really impressed upon me how we should live a Christ-like life.

Ministry has been good. I'm now a official Usher in church. Serving as Internal/External traffic, door & welcoming usher was a good experience. There are more to come. For greater things have yet to come. Am glad that I can impact lifes & be a blessing to them. Indeed, God has restored my life & the things that I once lost. Reminds me of the hymn, Amazing grace. Though things may turn out well, some things may not. This was in accordance with what Pastor had said about having what you have but yet you're never satisfied without our loving & merciful Father in heaven. Caught Astro boy yesterday. I never knew the story of that childhood cartoon character was so nice. It portrayed a father & son relationship reflecting how both would treat each other. The emotional bonding & relationship aspect. Ok, gtg for svc & celebrate Pastor's b'day. Oh ya, CG celebrated b'day for me & bought a book! Time to catch up on my reading. Hee. No pictures though, but already felt blessed & happy to be in the CG. =)

First day in CHC usher ministry

2009-09-27T18:54:00.006+08:00

Strolling @ Boat quay before overnight Prayer meeting

East Coast Park Macdonalds

Wow, it has been a blessing for me to be able to serve as a usher today at jw svc. It was fun but tense as Pastors were around the door area. But thank God that it went well. It's gona be 3 weeks of training before I have a permanent team.

Work was tiring but fruitful whenever I attend cgm and service. I cried out to God y'day during expo svc when distractions came in the area of career and relationships. Sought advice from cgl and the answer was a no. Was asked to build my spiritual life first and also experience in terms of career prospects. So I should know what to do in order not to hurt the other party. Indeed when we are faithless, God remained faithful. I waited 5 months before someone really called me up for ushering. Kept on persistently pestering my cgl for a reply from ministry and I prayed the night before when I was really disheartened to see a negative reply when cgl answer was a wait. Well, it finally paid off. I'm now in usher ministry!! Yea.

Went to east coast last week for cycling wid my cg members, it was fun, tiring and aches all over after dat. Ate mac for dinner and went back after dat. Great fellowship. Alright gtg, see ya. =)

Review of wads happening

2009-08-30T18:48:00.003+08:00

I hope certain people will stop irritating me. It get on my nerves. Its been a good and bad week. Bad as in there seems to be some communication problem at work with some foreign colleagues and imagine office poltics, stabbing one another at the back. Cant they just leave all these nonsense one side and not be so hypocritical?

I still have to humble myself in the end and be watchful. Well, comfirmation is coming soon tmr. Pray that its good and a increase in salary. Overnight prayer meeting was good. Brought a friend along while having dinner @ HANS restaurant Great Eastern building. The biggest HANS in sg! Wow, had a great time eating the chicken chop set with delicious soup, orange juice and water melon as a round up. It was 12am and we were still praying. The power of prayer can members being united together worshiping God and praying. It was fantastic. Service was good. Pastor Phil talked about plucking out the root causes and bad habits in our lifes before we can really step into the platform where we rise as a church and take up different roles serving God and His people. Inspired by what he said.

Speaking in tongues do help when u're angry or irritated by things. The more the devil tries to input situations where u need self control, the more u shld speak in tongues. Preparing for standard chartered run this december. Work out! Pray! Seek God first place in our lifes!

SOT plus warehouse clearance

2009-08-15T23:41:00.000+08:00

Wow, what a day. Went to Ubi warehouse to clear some stocks at work this morning, it was tiring. Nevertheless, I still had the energy to rush down to expo for service. It was a great time and priviledge to see students from School of Theology (SOT) graduate. One of the members was attached to our cg. Took pictures with her as a memorable and yet fulfilling time these 5 months for them as they learnt the Word of God through various disiplines and channels available. Happy for them. When is my turn? Hee. I think I've got to save up first if I want and desire to go for SOT.

Well, awesome week last thur during cg as we had a good attendance. Printed out the wrong song, argh. But thank God we had everything planned and backed up. Soon to be guitarist in the cg, jiayou! =)

Family sunday

2009-07-26T22:34:00.000+08:00

Watched how Liverpool thrashed Singapore with family just now. Nice game, but sg's standard still the same as expected. Well, suppose to go back redhill today, but stayed on. So go to work frm bp tmr. Really hoping for this coming fri's festival of praise. Of course chc's 20th anniversary on sunday. Hope i can get the crystal gift. It nice. Ushering... When...?? CG guitarist... When...??? Still waiting. =)

Saturday

2009-07-26T00:27:00.002+08:00

CG was fine yesterday. Although we din have any guitarist to play for, the atmosphere was alright. Could have been better if we could have sung accapela. Like wad I shared with vy and yc. Was looking forward for today.

Svc was good, pastor gave alter call again for those who want to serve in the ministry or work full time in the church. Been through the alter call for serving. But not yet for full time ministry. Still got a long way to go. Zone fellowship was fun and enjoying with all the games and food etc. Our cg was tasked to help out with the food. MCs were spontaneous, some were even 'matchmaking' some of them. Haha. But rather, on our way home, members seemed so tired and dosent talk much. Felt so helpless or sad when I alighted after dat. Afew times like this already. Friend said it was my negative thoughts, true? Maybe. Perhaps they are really tired and needed some rest. Well, I hope next week it will be better. Festival Of Praise!!! Yes, its back again. This time I'm going with my new found cg. Yea! =)

Busy monday

2009-07-21T00:37:00.002+08:00

Today was a busy day. Other than all the stuffs being done at work, went to watch transformers at tiong alone. Just nice that the timing was right and I din want to wait till the dvd come out, cos I din watch it in the theatre when part 1 of the movie was out.

Kind of moody today. But listened to worship songs and read pastor kong's blog dat lifted my spirit up. Had afew calls and sms when I was watching the movie, distracting. When u wana concentrate somethings, distractions will come which u dun wish to. But when u want to receive calls or sms, they dun come. What a wierd monday. But I thank those who calls and sms me. At least I know that they are concerned and care abt my daily life. Alright, gtg and slp soon. Tata.

CGM, Service plus harry potter movie

2009-07-19T11:15:00.002+08:00

CG on friday was good. Though abit of hiccups during P&W, it still went smoothly. PTL. Felt that it could be better. Well, we need to impact the members if we really want to reach out to them more. Above all, its the Holy spirit and God who takes control of the atmosphere.

Service was great. Presence of God impacted all of us especially the last part when Pastor led us in a time of greater encounter with Him. As the church move towards the 20th anniversay event 2 weeks from now together with FOP(Festvial of Praise). I'm looking forward to it. Sat afternoon met up with campmates for a buffet of Japanese food at UE Square. Sumptous lunch. After that went for bs with cgl and yh. Movie outing was good. Harry potter, haha. Beginning of the movie was abit blur, cos its continued from the previous episode. But later part was ok. Lots of funny scenes. 2 and a half hrs long was worth it. After dat took a cab back to bp with jw and vy as it was past 12am. Online awhile and off to bed I went. Great sat spent. =)

In-camp Training

2009-07-04T23:39:00.002+08:00

Sat, finally we can book out. This week was still ok, as we we only preparing for next week's outfield. Had a good time catching up with campmates. Josh, Jun kok, Jincai, etc. I had discipline myself to do quiet time everynight bfore i sleep.

I thank my God I spoke in tongues more than others. Had a good impression on this verse. Ok, going to slp soon to prepare for tmr's svc.

Birthday celebrations

2009-06-28T11:56:00.001+08:00

Wow, I can imagine myself playing for the cell group leading the praise & worship in time to come God has really bless me with talents that I have. Talents of playing the guitar and having a trained voice.

Went for worship class last thurs and the week before cunducted by Poh, the leading guitarist for the church and music director. I saw him with his family right after svc dinner at airport. Haha. Well, I can say that the class was awesome as Poh shared to us about flowing in the spirit, the relationship with God, the dynamics of worship and free worship. Hmm, got to work well with my cgl soon yea. Can see that afew of us in the cg are beginning to take leadership roles and beginning to serve. The rest of those who are already serving, keep on keeping on! Jiayou. Those who have nt yet to serve, I pray that they will have a deeper and greater encounter with God. Cos I have experience it. How about you? Still waiting for the time to come wher I'll be called up to play for the cg and serve in the usher ministry. Gona resume Bible study soon after my reservist. Will be going back for in-camp on monday. Pray for protection against health risk and any injuries and spiritual attacks. Thank God that the past 1 month of June was sustainable. Praying for sustainment for the next few months. Have learnt to wait upon the Lord and be patient when thing arent going your way bt God's way. He takes control of everything, not me. The brokeness before Him and humbling oneself. Last session of churchwide BS on Songs of solomon was great. Finale. Everyone knelt down and worshipped before God when it was ending. I had a double annointing, slained in the spirit when Pastor Tan preached about serving the Lord last week. The power of God was so powerful that when Pastor Zhuang layed hands on me, I just fell. But the 2nd time, Pastor Derek was there, he din even touch me but when he was dealing with the person next to me, the power was so great that I just fell when Pastor just shoved his right hand towards me.

After these few encounters, I just felt loved by God and I love Him. When we worship, the presence of God is there. That makes me love Him more and not sin against Him. Had a great time of fellowship and celebrations for Peiling and venny's b'day. Uploading the pics soon. Happy belated birthday for the both of them once again! =)
Ps: Practicing my guitar. Hee.

Wondering

2009-06-11T22:25:00.002+08:00

One more day to receiving my insurance payout. Tomorrow is the day to freedom. Yes, financial blessings. More to come. Was wondering when can I restore my internet connection with so many outstanding things not settle yet. Well, in the Lord's timing. Practiced my guitar skills recently and realised that I could play most of the Praise & Worship songs. Next thursday going for worship class conducted by worship guitarist Poh. Wow, I'm looking forward to it. Wait wait wait. Wait upon the Lord. =)

Blessings.

2009-05-31T11:30:00.003+08:00

Thank God for the many provisions that He brought into my life. The blessings of good and sound teachings, supportive family members and also great leaders. The blessing of a good career.

I had testimonies of friends who had their breakthroughs and I asked God, God, where is the breakthrough that you have promised? There were several times that I wanted to give up, disobey and rebel against God, but I didn't. Cos I know the consquences of it. When the nation of Africa disobeyed God, the blessings cut short furiously. I read it in an article from the Festival of Praise magazine.

Also, connecting with God is also very important. Once you lost that connection with Him, it is difficult for God's blessing and annointing to come upon you. That's what I have been feeling for the past few weeks. Spiritual dryness. I think not only me who experienced it, in fact, the whole church. But when Pastor Kong preached about the songs of solomon on friday, the annointing, presence of God came back.

Pastor Kong preached about how we got to go back to our First love, that is Jesus Christ. When we are burnt out, we got to go back to Him. go 80% and the remaining 20%, God takes chrage. It was awesome and touching when Pastor Kong lead the whole church to kneel down and repent towards God and worship Him. Man, it's been a while since I last experienced this kind of love. The wholeness of Him, dwelling in His presence. Then did I realised that God wanted me to wait patiently upon the Lord and trust Him. He will bring you to pass. True enough, the breakthrough began y'day when I received a phone call telling me about the good news in my company. More breakthroughs to come.

He wanted to test my faith also. To see whether I can sustain and trust Him and wait patiently for Him. Indeed perseverance rips good fruit. I have ran the race and here is my reward. Now is the time to test my ability. Ability in sustaining. Hardwork pays off. I remember my secondary school motto, success through dilligence. The word dilligence means hard work. The last few week's message on faith and opening wide your mouth was encouraging and inspirational. Especially when Mrs Yonggi Cho came to our church to preach. It was a powerful. The song that we sang; Wonderful love of Jesus reminded me of the hymns that I sang in chuch when I was merely a small kid. Thereafter, aunt lent me a book written by Pastor Yonggi Cho. It talked about the Fourth dimension. Wow, that book really broadend my mind. It hit me real hard especially when he said about how we can not be affected by circumstances although it seems hard. Another example was how his calling from pioneering 2-3 churches and how he overcame his obstacles inspite of objections from his members to build the World's largest church in Korea today.

Another book that I read was from Pastor Joseph Prince from New Creation church. He talked about the words we speak brings power. Also, what we confess from our mouths, it can destroy or it can lift you up. It affects our mind. Life and death are in the power of the tongue. Cant remember which verse that was from. Argh, got to brush up on my memory verses. Back to basics, Haha. Well, I want to thank my cell group leader for the support and encouragements, calling me and and counselling me. I have understood what has happenned abt the friends in my cell. Gona give her a big big cell group present to show my grattitude. But I know that the biggest present I can give is to see me grow in the Lord and serve Him in all the ways possible. I have learnt alot and have grown much much more. Thanks for all. =D

Feelings and thoughts

2009-05-28T21:36:00.002+08:00

Did I missed out something valuable last weekend? Or did I lose heart?

Finally poured out what I wanted to say to cgl. Hope that things would improve.

Trusting

2009-05-09T23:36:00.002+08:00

I believe that my rewards are near. Just got to keep on trusting and have faith in God. A refreshing weekend. W272 all the way! Keep on keeping on! =)

Trying times

2009-05-06T23:00:00.002+08:00

In these time of spiritual dryness, all the more I should worship the Lord. In times of trials and temptations, all the more I should cry out to God. Realised that my love for God has grown stronger.

Trusting in Him to bring me to a deeper level.

Wondering

2009-04-26T14:06:00.002+08:00

I wonder. How many people really really care for you? I thank God for the many blessings that I have come to know since I joined CHC for almost 3 years. Friends who have come but not yet gone, friends who were really there for you when you were down.

Poly days

2009-04-01T11:36:00.002+08:00

I miss the time when I was in Poly. So free, so care free. Now that I'm into the work force, things starts to be a challenge. Ie, work place politics. The minute I step into office, there goes my day of hectic calls. Got to be online la, cannot leave my desk for long la, etc. I was thinking, am I on Guard duty or what?

Work

2009-03-21T11:16:00.004+08:00

My heart is almost up; max capacity.
1.4k, its not what I thought; easy.
Being in the IT industry, especially one that is reputable throughout the whole world is technically requiring one that is competable.

Knowing what I had learnt in school, I have to pick up new skills. One that is not irrelevant to today's technology. Ie, if you are able to create a file and link it up to your whole network, it would be a step to the world of IT, which mean Information Technology.
I used to be not so interested in it, but it seems that as you progress, IT is essential in terms of corporate systems.

Pray that I would be able to survive in this industry.

Busy week. -_-

Work

2009-03-21T11:16:00.001+08:00

Busy Wednesday

2009-03-18T13:27:00.003+08:00

Just when I said that there were not much phone calls yesterday, this morning I was filled with dozens of calls. Man, I should'nt have said that word. Thankfully I managed to help solve the problems with much help from my colleagues.

Wondering why some users of the system are so ___. That's why helpdesk personnel are here to stay. Brgh, Gasping for some fresh air now. The dept. is turing into an emergency dept. for teachers. Patiance, no wonder the problem at home can be linked to my work through the Bible. Interesting a? Haha. Alright, gtg. More calls waiting for me to answer. =D

What is it?

2009-03-17T15:47:00.002+08:00

Ok, here I am blogging a 2nd time in a day. Office not much work today. Apparently, there's no calls for me after when I came back from lunch!!! I was thinking, since I have been blogging here recently, might as well blog here.

Minds went wild when you have nothing much to do in office. Due to the school holidays in schools, there's not much calls from the teachers. So, free and easy. Lol. Minds went wild just now thinking of things that I couldn't imagine. For example, chanced upon 1 of my friend's friendster profile and found out that this person is looking out for a job. For a moment I was thinking how lucky and and blessed I am to have found a job in this economic uncertainties. Sources had said that the economy might pick up at the end of the year of next year. Few months ago, it was really bad. Even ministers saying that it might take afew years to recover. Well, God has relinquished all that fears and that the new US bill which President Obama had passed and that the most powerful government in the world had pumped in millions of dollars to recover the economy. Hope that it will recover in time.

I somehow felt that the present President of the United States is a man of virtue, correcting, abolishing and implementing policies that are going to have a tremendous impact on the whole world. Then came website that I chanced upon where I saw the video of NDP 2006. Surprisingly, it seemed that memories of it are still fresh on my head. The process of it and the many fun-filled activities that my peers/campmates & I went through during those NS days. My mind was like thinking, I miss those good old days where you don't have to worry about food & transport issue where everything is taken care of by the SAF. I'm suppose to move on. But I'm stuck. Pray without ceasing and fervently. That's what I know to keep on going. Engaging in activities that will result in joy and happiness. Ciao.

Time to move on

2009-03-17T12:08:00.003+08:00

Was having abit of an up and down mood last night. Up because of work, that my colleagues were a whole lot of a joker bunch that keeps my life happy and joyful. Down because of a certain person. I shan't elaborate more lest some of my friends might know of.

Got a call from cgl just in time when mood was down. Emphasized more on being positive when sharing testimony. I couldn't really catch what cgl was referring to at first, I thought it was my mood or the way I think or behave in my daily life that I should change. Ya, perhaps I should change the way I give my testimony. It was done in a fast and quick motion without much thoughts to re-edit the words. Probably I'll need more time to write a proper testimony. After talking to one of my good friend about it, I somehow realised what cgl was refering to after explaining the details to JR.

Ya, perhaps its the fast pace or work attitude or society that makes me used to doing things at a fast pace. (Learnt it in NS) where everything has to be fast. It may be good and bad. Good in a way that you're efficient, but bad in a way that you might end up not making the right decisions. So we have to be very careful in these aspects.

Still trying to figure out things. Be it in church or in the corporate world. There are some questions that kept me pondering like why are people in the workforce so different from NS and school life and why are there people in the US or other countries would resort to greed and plunge the whole economy down in order to gain monetary gains for their own profits. These questions baffled me. Perhaps I should read more on the financial world.

Emo-ing

2009-03-16T21:39:00.003+08:00

Truthfully, wished we could unlock the level of friendlyness. But it seems like you're not that keen on furthering this friendship. How could we even progress further? It might be a one sided thingy, but. I have to be honest, the feeling is there.

Financially, I'm not ready yet. Wished you could reply faster and that you would be more interested in knowing things. Do I always have to make the first move? Sigh.

Matters of the heart

2009-03-15T22:25:00.002+08:00

Ok, now that my job is settled, next thing is to stay focus on it. Got to work more on my punctuality and performance at work. Decided not to work in mac today. More time to rest and prepare for work tmr.

Next thing, progress on spiritual things and matters of the heart. Leader ask me to join the classes for getting started now that I have more time during the weekends. I will see how it goes first. Another thing is, this certain matter of the heart is back again. Really do not know if I should just stop contacting her unless necessary. Or carry on with it. Response was so far luke warm only. Not out there to look for a partner in church but, everyone needs a companion I guess. Her spiritual level is so much higher than me. How am I gona match up to her? Argh, I dont know. Just remain as good friends for now.

New job

2009-03-10T20:00:00.005+08:00

Yes, finally I'm going on to a new job. HP Alexandra Technopark, Technical Support . Nobody will say oh, its difficult to find a job now, so stick to the current one although the pay is low. I've had enough of f&b, throwing rubbish here and there. It stinks. Not forgetting dispensing food and drinks for customers. Argh. But I would really like to thank them for re-igniting the speed which I once lost. Yes, my fast speed energy is back. But during the process, whole body aches.

Tomorrow, from tomorrow onwards, I'm gona embark on a new journey. A place where I call the Brand of the famous IT company. Trusted and reliable. Hewlett Packard. Wahaha. I love the salary, its more than I expected. Hopefully this job suits me and can at least stay for one year or more. Thank God for providing me with this rare opportunity. Pretty hard to work in HP u know. When I get my pay, I shall give my 10 per cent tithings to God, then pay off all my outstanding bills. Its freaking irritating me. Argh.

Cg wise, I really hope things would get better. There's this heart-wrenching feeling in my heart. A burden I guess. To everything, there is a season. =)

Frustrated

2009-02-09T11:56:00.003+08:00

I thought of quiting. It affects my health. Is it worth working there for the sake of money or is my health more important than money? But with no money, how am I going to survive??? =(

Longing

2009-02-07T13:47:00.005+08:00

How time flies, now is already the 3rd year dat im in chc. Know what, I yearn to re-live the life I had back in 2006. It was the first time I came to know City Harvest Church, the first time I stepped foot into expo.

Apart from that, it was during my 2nd yr of NS. Two dramatic relationships and a participation in the National Day Parade. Most importantly I had my weekends off. Especially saturday. I remembered dat I would wake up in the morning doing my computer stuffs and then going for cell group meetings and after dat to makan or shopping. Now my life is like upside down. Apart from working, there's not much things to do. Going to church is a challenge now dat I have to work on weekends. Hopefully things will be better when I work in the morning the week after next.

School holiday cum new working environment plus Online busyness.

2008-12-10T20:11:00.003+08:00

Hey ppls, I have no time to blog. Although now is holiday, but my online schedules are tight, checking emails, updating my photos and surfing net. So here I am trying to blog afew words down before going off.

Ok, tmr will be my first day at work in Sim Lim Square as a Computer Technician. Hope its is good. Pray that everything will go smoothly and the salary negotiation will be idealistic. Went for a swim just now at Delta swimming complex. Haha, nice one. Gtg now, Bye.

Post Mid-Semester Test (MST)

2008-12-06T12:42:00.005+08:00

Yahoo!! Finally my MST is over, I can have a breather already. Hehe. Was busy chatting with my friends online just now, so now then only got time to blog. Ok, hmm, well, I did my best for my MST papers already. The rest I just leave it to God and the markers to determine how many marks should I get for my test.

It cost 10% you know, though its not alot, but every percentage counts. I admit dat my maths I din study much, just the main points. This time round I concentrated more on Digital Electronics (D.E.) and Principles of Electrical & Electronics (PEEE). Took 2 weeks to study these 2 modules. I might have neglected my maths, argh. But well, its over. Time to move on with enjoying my holidays and not dwell on it. Borrowed 4 DVDs from school to cover the 3 weeks term break. At the meantime, I found a new job as a Computer Technician at Sim Lim Square. 6 days week but start at 10.30am, good hor? Hehe. I hope I can stay long in this company. Don't want to change company here and there again.

Cell group (C.G.) was great, we sang the song THE GOD I KNOW. It was awesome, with message about the CG vision and how to be more active in evangelism and bring more friends to know Christ/God. Discussed with CG leader about me changing back to my previous CG due to my work commitments. Glad that leader agreed, now have to talk to my previous CG leader about it.

Ok, tmr going to Pulau Ubin already, haha. The most awaited Ubin trip. I'm gona take lots of photos during the trip man, its been years since I went there. One of my friend told me that the roads over there have improved. Well, we shall see. Lol. Gtg, bye bloggy. =)

Jobs

2008-11-27T18:12:00.004+08:00

Been trying to apply for a job recently and studying my revision notes. Got to call up a electronics company just now regarding a position as a technician. Was quite excited about it when the person said he will call me up again.

Sent my resume over. Then afew hours later he called back and asked me afew questions which I had already typed out in my resume. Do I have soldering skills? Of course, didn't I wrote it down on my resume? After that he asked me whether am I furthering my studies and how long is my course. I told him that I'm currently studying part time diploma in Electrical & Electronics. So he said that's good. Then he said, you're a NITEC holder only ah, not HIGHER NITEC ah? Pissed me off. Thus I said, ya, I'm a NITEC holder politely. So he said he will call me back again tomorrow. After that, quite demoralise. I can only pray and have faith in God that I will get this job that's situated very geographically at Buona Vista, which is near my school and in between my home and my grandparents' place. It's a 5 day work week which I'm currently looking for. Got to go now, class is starting soon. Bye bye.

Happy but sad

2008-09-29T11:27:00.003+08:00

I have no heart or mood to listen to service. Yes I know God is in control, but its so hard, this test is worse than any other tests I had. Even army life is nothing to me now. The working life and handling of family matters are tough.

How do u handle all these problems well???? =(

Struggling

2008-08-21T09:22:00.003+08:00

I can't imagine people accusing me in front of your own family. Just want to say one thing, through the love of God , Aunt, I forgive you. It is not by your authority but by the Spirit says the Lord.

I'm glad I've gone to Prayer Meeting this morning. The presence of God was so strong, I can sense it. Thanks Valarie for listening to my problems. Appreciate you and Regina for making the efforts to reply me this morning. If not for my humble spirit, I would have shouted at my Aunt. It is by God's grace that I calmed my self down and think things through and talked nicely to her. If not I would have moved out and my brother wont have a com to use again. Thank you Lord Jesus for sending me good friends. I'm gona fly higher. =)

Preparation for Semester Test 1

2008-08-18T23:52:00.002+08:00

Coming this wednesday will be my Semester Test 1. Can feel the stress level going up already. Prepared for about 50% already. Still have 50% more to go. Was trying to focus on Principles of Electrical & Electronic today when my friend asked me to go study together.

So woke up, packed and checked some stuffs before going to Jurong East Library for revision. It was cool using my laptop outside. Haha. But poor lappy, kena dropped while I was going to the toilet and I dropped it in school. Now its abit dented. Shant say much about the servicing, its super ex, so im not gona send it for repair. Tmr gona wake up early to go for prayer meeting already. I'm so blur now. Wake up already stil so blur, think I need more rest. Ha, ok gtg. All the best for those who are having and are gona have their Tests or Exams soon! Good night bloggy. =D

Practical Test Day

2008-08-14T21:12:00.003+08:00

Haiyoyo...... Did quite soso for my Digital Electronic Practical Test. Section A can do, Section B did a quarter of it, Section C can get the Output correct. Haiyo. Sian half. Thank God at least still can pass. Phew. I was worried that I would fail, but lecturer said that if Section A can do and is correct, then it's a sure pass already. Really thank God man.

Yesterday was quite fedup with my maternal grandfather. Shan't say much about it. Been very tired working and sleeping lesser and lesser hours. Got to catch some sleep man. Ciao.

Mixed feelings Day

2008-08-09T00:47:00.004+08:00

Decided to blog here. Cos more private. Haha. Spent my friday working at Italy Embassy in the morning and back to Headquarters in the afternoon. Had a great time chatting with my colleague Shanti. Haha. Did much marshalling today.

After that went for Cell-Group Meeting @ Selwyn's place today. Had a great time there too, watching the Olympic opening ceremony and eating the food that my friends and I bought. Quarrelled with somebody last night, so ain't gona say much about it. Celebrated Samuel's and XL's birthday with sabos here and there. Had much mixed feelings when I went back alone just now. Dislike this kind of feeling. Felt so distant from C.G. now, like being abandoned? Or is it that I didn't spend much time with them? Kind of not my type partying and going so high nowadays. Not my type of personality to unwind though I enjoyed the whole thing. But I hardly laughed genuinely, it's all putting up a mask. I'm more serious now compared to the previous ki siao Isaac that u guys knew when I was in NS. Had an opportunity to enter and access Subordinate Court and Family/Juvenile Court areas.

It was nice and interesting to learn things associated with law. Well, I shall keep my fingers crossed as I find that the prospects for Law studies and Career in that field is not that good. Got to go. Nights.

Busy schedules

2008-07-29T11:28:00.002+08:00

Busy busy busy, super busy. Finally have one day off. Phew. Lots of things happen over the last few week / months. Pray that my financial status will be better off after some time. Got to go. Bye.

Holidays anyone???

2008-06-03T11:04:00.003+08:00

I'm going to Australia in a few months time. Yes I have decided to go. Friends ask me what am I going to do there? Well, I'm there to visit Hillsongs Church in Sydney. Other than that going to Victorharbor to visit one of my long time friend.

Seems like I can't seem to concentrate on my coming exams. I tell myself that I have to stay focus and not be distracted. 3 more weeks, I pray that I will do well in my exams. Failure is a no-no in my dictionary. Making sure that I pass my Poly exams are crucial for survival in SP for the next four years.

I thank God that though situations seems hard to predict, God is always there to protect me and He is always there for me no matter what I do or were I go. In my own quiet time, I prayed hard. Managed to do half an hr of prayer yesterday.

Went out with Jie to sing Karaoke @ Bugis. It was a fun-filled one. Isaac, wake up!!!! Your studies and career are much more important!!!!! Slap slap. =)

Why???

2008-06-02T08:06:00.004+08:00

Why would someone hurt another person again and again....??? Ah jie asked me this question, do I still like the person which I love? I told her I don't know. Apparently the misunderstanding is getting worse.

Had I not excercised my choice of humbling myself and the choice of staying for lunch because of Ah jie, I would have walked out of the place and left after lunch. But I stayed on till all of us left. Never imagined that one silly confession would end up like this. People asked me to forgive 'her'. But I can't. I told my friend, I prayed about it. I just couldn't bring myself to forgive her after what happenned. Imagine being hurt and you have to forgive that person....???? What is this man.....???? God please help me to forgive this person. Alleluia to Christ the Lord!!!!!!!!! As I listened to this song, my heart just sank. Is this the trials that we are talking about....???? If you think that I think too much, so be it. I don't have to explain myself further. You want to have fun and play all you want, by all means. I want to be serious. Playing time is over for me. Grow up!!!!

No matter what, I still want to thank you for the criticisms. It's those remarks that made me stronger by the blood of Jesus Christ. Men will fall but Christ will not. Be an example.

Back to civilian life

2008-05-31T20:47:00.003+08:00

Lots of things went through my mind when I was on my way home. Today went for Cell group meeting at Home Team NS (Toa Payoh). Topic was about financial planning. It didn't occur to me that after confessing my feelings to her, things would turn out so bad.

I totally ignored her today. Can't be bothered. After being hurt once, it's enough. Fancy me trying to give a morning call out of good will and this is the kind of treatment I get. Suan le, I rather channel my energy to the things which are more important. Let God decide.

To see or not to see???

2008-05-21T12:54:00.002+08:00

Early in the morning got into a debate session with my campmate.... -_- In the end I won the debate. Cos all his complains are based on unreal facts. I threw him one question at him and he was silent for the rest of the conversation.

Why are Singaporeans especially, complaining about this and that? Don't we know that we are considered very blessed already? Look at the situation globally. Today is Wednesday le, 2 more days and it will be Saturday. Am I ready to face more challenges? Told one of my friend dat I don't know how to face someone on dat day. Don't ask me why, I just don't know how to face her. Regina asked me to stay focus if not I'll be sick thinking of all those problems. Well, I am staying very focus. Nothing will stop me from staying focus on my studies and career path. God is always there to protect me. He is the God that I know who will not fail us. It is by His grace and mercy that I am what I am today. Without Him, I can do nothing.

'Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.' Matt. 6:33.

The more I think, the more stressed up I am

2008-05-19T20:45:00.003+08:00

Title says it all. Why am I blogging again? It seems that God wants me to stay put in Bukit Panjang to be moulded. I thought that I was not welcome. Miraculously, Grandpa talked to me this afternoon.

He wanted me to observe his house rules and that I would be able to take care of my mum and brother. He meant well, I know. But the discipline is somewhat harsh. I know that I have been through even harsher things in the army, but hello, I'm a NS man now. Not a NSF.

Lowest point of my life

2008-05-19T18:27:00.003+08:00

Can you imagine being stuck at home and being bound by the rules at home.....????? I cried.......... Tear drops just rolled down and down........ If I was being raised up in a different kind of setting when I was a kid, would I be so soft...........???????

Lord, help me to overcome every obstacles that I'm about to face. Aunt prayed for mum and me just now. I would never imagine that such a dark secret would be leaked out just like that. Previous generation's secret. I know that if I were to find out every single secret in my family, I would not have been so kind enough to let go of certain things. But I just can't imagine that the person I respected in my family would so such a thing. Generation curses........ It destroyed the good family lifes.

Did something unexpected. Now I will never know how will she react to the words that I sent to her. I had no choice but to leave her alone for the time being. To be a successful person, I need to overcome all the hurdles that is going to happen. I know that it's going to be a challenge. Take it or leave it. Like my Guards motto, always ready, ready to strike. I will always be ready to defend my homeland and I will always be ready to fight the trials and tribulations that I will be going through. At the end of the day, it's whether will I be victorious or will I be defeated. The answer to this is to have a prayerful life. God has commanded us to pray and seek Him more. I will not, I repeat, I will not be easily defeated. By the power of God and the Holy Spirit, I will rise up. I will rise, all the way to the top and never will I be bound by the evil one.

Sharks

2008-05-16T11:16:00.003+08:00

Thanks to auto sending. Why do they want to remind me of the past? Of all days. I'm happily talking to someone else then it came on. So what if it's her birthday today? I ain't gona wish her a happy birthday. For what? That will only remind me of the moments when I was so so so down and out.

Frankly speaking I have no confidence in relationships anymore. I told myself this, if i were to get married one day, I make sure that I won't end up in a divorce or a seperation like my parents did. It is affecting the whole family. Focus. Haha. For how long? If I'm gona channel all my resources to my work and studies, then what about my family? Are they not my dearest to me? 'Heaven and earth will fade, but His word will still remain and He will do something new today'. How new can it be????????

A brand new day

2008-05-15T07:44:00.003+08:00

It never occurs to me that I will be jogging early in the morning at Bukit Panjang, my aunt's place. It was a refreshing and a new beginning for me. Gone are the days where I have to drag my feet to work at Popular.

Ever since I stepped out of Popular, I really felt peaceful inside my heart. Maybe God really wants me to quit that job. He has a better place for me to go to. As for my vision, well, I just leave it to God. If He wants me to go into ministry, I will obey His commandments. Take heed brethren, unless he is born again, he shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven. Oh no, am I starting to preach already? Lol. Maybe, as the Holy Spirit guides me.

Later going for interview liao, pray that it will be successful. Cisco Police is not easy to get in. But I trust that He will guide me and show me the right path to take. Lord, I lift everything into your hands. Guide me along as you would like a child to his Father.

Am very eager to go for Cell Group Meeting this Saturday. Haven't been going for the past few weeks. Well, gona have a BBQ session after that too! Hooray! Good fellowship starts from mingling around with brothers and sisters in Christ. Amen.

Job opportunities

2008-05-14T11:48:00.003+08:00

Found a new job in the newspaper just now. Certis Cisco Security Force ask me go down for an interview tomorrow afternoon at Bukit Panjang. Pray that it will be a job that I like and not those funny funny wierd kind of jobs.

ZZ signing off.

Resignation

2008-05-13T17:46:00.003+08:00

Never have I expected to be out of Popular so fast. It is really a challenge to be in this company. Though things may not turn out the way I expected it, but if it's God's will that I come out of the company, then praise the Lord.

Now that I'm not working there anymore, my next move is to go back to work in Golden Village. Thank God that I have not resign from Golden Village yet, cos I know that I will eventually come back sooner or later. True enough, it happenned. This afternoon I tendered my resignation to my manager in Popular, wanted to resign long ago already. In His time, in His. He makes all things beautiful in His time. Father I just want to pray to you right now that though a door is closed, eventually You will open another door for me. I just have to keep on trusting You and have faith in You. To all my colleagues whom I have worked with, I thank you for looking after me and taking care of me. May all of you be blessed with the power of God. Time to move on.

Just hope that I will have a better option in terms of employment next time. Will stop here. Take care.

Life as a Full-Time Worker and Part-Time Student

2008-05-09T02:07:00.002+08:00

Wow, it's been quite awhile since I last blogged. Wanted to blog lots of things but there were too many to list down. Probably I could start with afew of them first.

Firstly, it's about my work. For the past one month, I had the priviledge to work in Popular bookstore (Bras Basah) branch. Colleagues were good and the environment was not that bad. The only thing is that there's always work to do. Haha. I also had the priviledge to take over as Head of Department (H.O.D.) for Multimedia. As my previous H.O.D. has resigned one week after I worked there, I had to take on the responsibility of a H.O.D. as there was no replacement coming in. My colleagues and I had to help each other out when things had to be done.

At first it was quite stressful for me as I was new to the job and I didn't have proper training at all. But after awhile I got the idea and knew how most of the process are being worked out. So there goes my journey as a Acting H.O.D. If there's anything about Multimedia, my colleague and I will have to answer and bear responsibility for it. What's more a H.O.D. Well, my manager told me that it is a good learning experience for me. Take it in a positive way. Ya right, I had to endure all the hard work till I get sick and my flu and cough haven't recover yet. Zzzz..... -_- From serving customers which is the basic of a Retail Assistant, all the way to doing all the administrative work, do ordering and liasing with my buyers and suppliers, all these I had to learn from scratch. What's more, school in Singapore Polytechnic has just started not long ago. Do you know how pressurizing it is? Well, you can try to live my life.

Thank God that I do not need to go for monthly meetings if not I'll surely be 'executed' by all those 'big shots'. Thank God also for all the support I had from all my friends. Had a short but sweet fellowship with Valarie and Audrey last Friday when they came down to my workplace to have dinner together with me. Was quite touched by their gestures. Pray that I can recover fast and attend Cell Group Meetings and Service more often. Will stop here. Blog again tomorrow then. Good night.

Busy Weeks ahead.

2008-04-10T17:34:00.003+08:00

Hi friends,

Due to my new job-scope, I will be very busy for the next few weeks. If anything, pls sms me after 7pm. I will try to return ur sms as soon as possible. For things like cgm and church service, I can only make it when I'm free. So if you have any doubts about my schedule, feel free to contact me. I'll explain in details. Meanwhile, I'll be focusing on my new job. I'll need lots of rest and distractions are a big no no. So try to understand my position.

I shan't elaborate more on my work. Just some info that I guess you guys would like to know. I'll be working in a bookstore at Bugis. So if anyone of you would like to buy things like stationary or multimedia stuffs, feel free to approach me. I'll be glad to assist you. Other than that I'll be busy working at Golden Village during the weekends. For those who know me well enough, I would like to say that I have not resigned from GV yet. So colleagues from GV, please do not speculate or spread rumours to say that I have quit. I do not like to be misunderstood. Thanks.

Whatever it is, I just hope that this will be a new lease of life for me. Stay cool, work hard and most importantly, all praises to God. Got to go. See you guys again. =)

God will make a way

2008-04-01T11:23:00.002+08:00

Been through some of the tough times since I came back. It is these trying times that I learnt to depend on God more than ever before.

If need be, I'll willing to lay my life for Him. But I know that He is an awesome God. He'll never forsake us in times of trouble. Draw near to Him and He will draw near to you. I love because you first love me. My first love, a very nice song. Thinking back, wished I could give more of my time to God than to worldly desires. Well, at least I have come to sense and I wished I could serve in church. Talked to somebody about the issues I have been facing with recently. Pray that things will resolve soon. Can't do it without support from friends, especially those who are close to me.

I almost 'sank' yesterday. But thank God that my good old friend was there to encourage me. Really appreciate. Though he may be busy but when I'm in crisis, he will always try to solve and talk things out with me. Thanks friend.

Rainy saturday afternoon

2008-03-22T18:49:00.002+08:00

Just woke up from a nap. Suppose to go for service just now but nobody went, so I also didn't go. Was quite surprise by their actions. Maybe next time I should be more careful when selecting a certain event.

Well, a blessing in disguise. Had the chance to save some pocket money. Lol. Tomorrow I don't know which to go. Seems like this thing is haunting me until I really settle down. Think I really have to decide fast and hard. If not it's not gona leave me. For now I just have to wait and see how thing goes.

No time no time

2008-03-03T14:35:00.002+08:00

Been busy since CNY. Busy busy and more busy. When u have access to the internet, there goes ur time clearing and checking mails. I just have the time to blog here. 1 more hour and I'll be off to work. To summarize everything from the CNY period till now, it's been a fruitful journey.

Been out with friends & colleagues. They are the one who will really stand by you when you have trouble, especially church friends. So just want to thank them for being my friend. Really treasure everyone of them. Ok, I gtg, update again. Oh, by the way, my internet is down at home, so I'm using outside source to go online now. Ciao. =)

Buck up

2008-01-13T15:35:00.000+08:00

I got to buck up. Just 2 words, BUCK UP!!! Cannot be lazy anymore.... God help me to be more disciplined. -_-

Jobs anyone?

2008-01-10T15:14:00.000+08:00

Nothing much to blog about. Finally my com is back to normal. Had some trouble with the sound system, zzz. Tried searching for new jobs these few days. Lots of jobs for me to choose from, but can I really work well..? Y'day was quite guilty. Cos I was slacking around most of the time at work. Then leave most of the things for my colleagues to wash. Pai seh la, only had 4 hrs of sleep the day before.. Somebody disturbed my sleep. Wana slp also cant slp well. I need a full time job to support myself. But seems like I'm still in the slacking mood. What the .... Finally can play C&C. All thanks to matt. who burned the cd for me. Very interesting and funny guy I met in my workplace. Haha. Clinging on to my faith. Supposedly meeting a friend tonight but friend cant make it, so cancel appointment. Wanted to go for interview today, but raining. I'm still sleepy. Haven recover from the 4hr slp yet. Haa. Going off liao. Cya bloggy.

Christmas service

2007-12-24T01:37:00.000+08:00

Went to CHC for Christmas service today. Jam-packed with loads of people. Almost couldn't get in. Nice service with the candle-lights and everything. But performance wise quite rushing. I still like last year's service. Well, tmr going to shalom bsc gathering liao. Dono if someone will come anot. If it is then I have to forgo going to shalom liao. Dono y, don't have the christmas mood this year... See my friend blog then I blog one. If not I also lazy to blog. Lol. Today went off early cos don wana waste my time dangling out there when there's nothing much for me to do. After service straight away go find something to eat liao. That's wad I don't like about groups. Always dili-dali-ing.

Anyway, I'm still worried for my studies. Dont even know whether I can cope or not, with so many pblems at home especially my grandma. Took a nap after coming home, when I woke up, went for a jog, cos very vexed at home with all those naggings. Then chatted wid someone for awhile. After dat packed my things, my desk is much more tidy. Wanted to send my certs over to sp but scanner pblem, so cant send by email. Dateline is near, can I send it on time? Anyway, Merry Christmas to everyone. =)

Alvin & the chipmunks

2007-12-23T00:42:00.000+08:00

As the title goes, went to AMK Hub to watch the movie in the afternoon. Funny, cute and nice show. I especially like Alvin, the playful one. Hehe. Kind of like my character. Lol. Well, I like theodore too, cos he's so sweet and adorable. Wanted to checked out the cinema in amk also, so went there to watch lor. Expected the crowd @ ps so din watch there, the cathay @ dhoby was also not a very good timing.

So after that went to orchard area to jalan jalan wid my friends. Took alot of pics and had a great time there. Din expect the crowd to be so crowded. Anyway, enjoyed the performance that some methodist church presented. Saw a group of choir presenting @ ngee ann city also, reminds me of the good old days in choir. Gone were the days. Hmm, tmr looking forward for service @ expo. Gona be exciting. God is good, all the time, God is good! =)